Menya impamvu zituma ubushake bw’ abakobwa na bagore mu mibonano mpuzabitsina bugabanyuka

Hari igihe kigera umugore cyangwa umukobwa akabura ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina cyangwa yanabikora ntaryoherwe nk’uko byari bisanzwe. Muri iyi nkuru turabagezaho zimwe mu mpamvu zibitera.

Kubura ubushake ku bagore bivuze kutishimira igikorwa icyo ari cyo cyose kiganisha ku gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina birimo n’ ibyo bita imirimo mbanzirizamushinga . Iki kibazo rero ahanini ngo kigaragara ku bagore maze gucura ariko ngo hari n’abo bibaho bakiri bato.

Hari igihe kigera umugore cyangwa umukobwa akabura ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina cyangwa yanabikora ntaryoherwe nk’uko byari bisanzwe. Muri iyi nkuru turabagezaho zimwe mu mpamvu zibitera.

Kubura ubushake ku bagore bivuze kutishimira igikorwa icyo ari cyo cyose kiganisha ku gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina birimo n’ ibyo bita imirimo mbanzirizamushinga . Iki kibazo rero ahanini ngo kigaragara ku bagore maze gucura ariko ngo hari n’abo bibaho bakiri bato.

Ibi kandi bishobora kuba ku bashakanye bakora imibonano uko bikwiye ariko bakora ibintu bimwe ku masaha amwe bigatuma ubushake bw’umugore bugenda bugabanuka bukagera kuri zero, agasigara abikoreshwa n’uko afite umugabo, we atakiryoherwa na busa.

Ese iki kibazo cyaba giterwa ni iki ?

Hari ibintu bitandukanye bituma ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina ku mugore bugabanuka cyangwa bushira burundu, bimwe muri byo ni ibi bikurikira :

Guhora mu bintu bimwe udahindura

Nk’uko nari nabivuze haruguru, hari ukuntu abantu bafata imibonano mpuzabitsina nk’aho ari igikorwa gikorwa mu buryo bumwe ku masaha amwe. Urugero ugasanga umugore n’umugabo batera akabaniro nijoro no mu masaha ya mu gitondo gusa kandi bakabikora mu buryo bumwe.

Ibi rero ngo bituma umugore abimenyera ndetse ngo yajya no kubonana n’umugabo we ntagire ikintu yumva kuko ubwonko buba bwamaze kumva ko ari bya bindi bagiye gusubiramo. Uko agenda yumva arambiwe guhora mu bintu bimwe bifite umuvuduko umwe niko uburyohe bugenda bugabanuka agasigara ntabwo yigirira.

Gucika intege [Umunaniro]

Iyo umugore akora cyane ntabone umwanya wo kuruhuka, buri gihe akabonana n’umugabo we arushye bituma ubushake bugenda bugabanuka. Aha batanga urugero rw’umugore wirirwa ashyashyana mu mirimo itandukanye yo mu rugo yarangiza akita ku bana, mbese agahera mu gitondo akora akageza nimugoroba, bituma agera ku buriri yumva yakwisinzirira. Umugabo yamuzanaho ibyo kubonana akabikora atabishaka, rimwe na rimwe akabikora kugira ngo amushimishe.

kumva udatekanye [Guhangayika]

Iyo umugore ahora ahangayikiye akazi cyangwa urugo rwe bituma ahora yitekerezaho cyane ntabone umwanya wo gutekereza ku buzima bw’imibonano mpuzabitsina yajya kubonana n’uwo bashakanye akaba ari kwitekerereza gahunda ze zimuhangayikishije bityo ntaryoherwe n’igikorwa arimo.

Kubura ibyiringiro [Kwiheba]

Kwiheba nabyo bituma ubushake bw’umugore bugabanuka, kuko aba yumva nta byiringiro by’ubuzima afite, yaratakaje ibyishimo ku buryo n’iyo akoze imibonano mpuzabitsina yumva atazi icyo akoze kuko we ubwe aba yumva abayeho nabi, yararenzwe n’ibibazo nta kintu na kimwe kikimushimisha.

Uburwayi [Imiti]

Hari imiti umugore anywa atabizi ikagenda imugabanyiriza ubushake akazashiduka atagishaka gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, yayikora akumva atazi ibyo arimo.

Gutinya kwibaruka [Kubyara]

Hari abagore batinya kubyara ku buryo iyo babyaye hashira igihe baratinye kubonana n’abagabo, bumva ibinezaneza by’umubiri byaragabanutse batacyifuza abagabo kubera uburibwe n’ububabare baba baragize mu gihe cyo kubyara. Gusa ku bw’amahirwe bo iyo hashize igihe basubira mu buzima busanzwe uburyohe bukagaruka.

Ibi rero ngo bigira ingaruka zitandukanye ku buzima bw’abashakanye zirimo no kuba batandukana kuko hari igihe umugabo ageraho akarambirwa gukomeza kubana n’umuntu utakimwishimira cyangwa ngo yishimire ibyo amukorera.

Ikindi ngo iki kibazo gishobora gutera intonganya zihoraho hagati y’abashakanye kuko baba basa n’abatagihuza.

Bimwe mu bisubizo kuri iki kibazo ni uKuganira hagati y’abashakanye

Ntimugomba gutuma ikibazo gikura ngo gifate indi sura kibe cyatuma umwe ataryoherwa n’imibonano mpuzabitsina; mugomba kwicara mukakiganiraho ubundi mugafata umwanzuro unogeye impande zombi kuko guceceka nta kintu kizima bishobora kubagezaho uretse kubatanya gusa.

Guhindura bimwe mu byo mwagize akamenyero

Mugomba guhindura ibyo mwari mwaragize nk’amahame adakuka mu bijyanye n’ubuzima bw’imibonano mpuzabitsina. Niba mwateraga akabariro hijimwe mugerageze mutangire kuyikora habona, niba mwagatereraga ahantu bacecetse muhindure rimwe na rimwe mujye mushyiramo uturirimbo turyoheye amatwi. Ikindi niba mwaramenyereye guterera akabariro mu cyumba kimwe ari cyo cyanyu mutangire muhindure ahantu ari nako musohokera ahantu hatandukanye, yaba mwebwe ubwanyu cyangwa umuryango wose .

Hindura uburyo wateguraga umugore wawe

Niba wari umunyereye kuza ukamukora ku bice bimwe na bimwe by’umubiri utajya uhindura tangira ukore no ku bindi, niba kandi wakoreshaga intoki zonyine noneho ugerageze utangire ukoreshe amavuta kuko azatuma ubushake bwiyongera biborohereze kuza kugera ku gikorwa nyirizina buri wese afite ibinezaneza.

Muzanire udushya

Niba wazaga ugahita utangira gutera akabariro nta kintu uvugishije uwo mwashakanye nawe agahita yubahiriza inshingano yaba abishaka cyangwa atabishaka, tangira ujye uza umuganirize umenye niba ananiwe cyangwa afite umunabi, ubundi umufashe kuruhuka no kugubwa neza, bityo uzarebe ko mudatera akabariro mufite ubushake bungana.

Yanditswe na Niyomugabo Robert/Muhabura.rw