Dore bimwe mu bimenyetso abahanga bashingiraho bagaragaza umukunzi w’indahemuka mu bihe bikomeye

Nk’uko umunsi ugira ibihe by’umucyo n’umwijima, ni na ko mu buzima bwa buri muntu habaho igihe cyo kwishima no kubabara, guhirwa no kubona ibyo ukora byose nta na kimwe kigenda uko wabyifuzaga.

Ibi kandi no mu rukundo ntaho wabihungira, wowe ubwawe ushobora guca mu bihe bikomeye cyangwa se ugasanga ni umukunzi wawe uri kubinyuramo kandi uko byaba bimeze kose mwembi bibagiraho ingaruka.

Baravuga ngo inshuti nziza uyibona mu byago, no mu rukundo burya umukunzi nyawe umubwirwa n’imyitwarire ye igihe uri mu bihe bikomeye binafite ingaruka ku rukundo rwanyu.

Kac Young, Umuhanga mu birebana n’imibanire akaba n’umujyanama yabwiye ikinyamakuru The Bustle, ko ubudahemuka mu bihe bikomeye ari kimwe mu bigaragaza ko umuntu agukunda nyabyo.

Dore bimwe mu bimenyetso abahanga bashingiraho bavuga ko bigaragaza umukunzi w’indahemuka mu bihe bikomeye:

1. Agushishikariza kudahisha ibyiyumviro byawe

Iyo abakundana bari guca mu bihe bikomeye, usanga buri wese agenda yikandagira, ndetse agatangira kugira ingingo zimwe na zimwe yirinda kugira icyo avugaho yanga kuba intandaro yo gutuma ibibazo mufite birushaho gukomera.

Natalie Moore, utanga ubujyanama ku mibanire avuga ko uku kwirinda kuvuga ukuri ntacyo bifasha ahubwo bituma urukundo rwanyu rutangira kubakira ku binyoma, ndetse icyizere mwagiriranaga kigatangira kuyoyoka.

Ikizakubwira umukunzi w’indahemuka ngo ni uko azabona inyungu yo kuvugisha ukuri ndetse akagushishikariza kudahisha uko wiyumva kabone nubwo yaba azi ko bishobora gutuma umwe muri mwe akomereka.

2. Yirengagiza ibitekerezo bye akagutega amatwi

Iyo abakundana hari icyo batari kumvikanaho, biroroha cyane kwibagirwa ko mwembi icyo muharanira ari ugutuma urukundo n’ubuzima bwanyu bitera imbere, ugasanga wavuze amagambo nawe ubwawe wicuza.

Umukunzi w’indahemuka uzamubwirwa n’uko mu bihe nk’ibi azashyira ku ruhande ibyiyumviro n’ibitekerezo bye, akagutega amatwi.

Mu gihe uri kuvuga nta guca mu ijambo ngo atangire kwisobanura akwereka ko ari wowe uri mu makosa, ahubwo agutega amatwi agamije kurushaho kukumenya, no gutuma mwembi murushaho kwegerana no kunga ubumwe.

3. Muzafatanya gukemura ibibazo mufite

Bijya bibaho ko mu bihe bikomeye usanga umwe mu bakundana atangira kwihugiraho no guha agaciro ibimufitiye inyungu gusa. Umukunzi ugukunda bitagira uburyarya ariko si uko abigenza, ahubwo azashyira imbaraga nyinshi mu gufatanya nawe gushaka umuti w’ikibazo mufite.

Nk’uko Rachel Perlstein nawe ufite ubunararibonye mu bijyanye n’imibanire y’abantu abivuga, ngo umukunzi w’indahemuka uzamubwirwa n’uko imvugo n’ibikorwa bye bigaragaza ko yibona nk’uri mu itsinda kurusha kuba ari wenyine, aho ahagarika gukoresha ijambo ‘njye’ ahubwo agakoresha ‘twebwe’.

4. Ahorana ubupfura

Iyo umukunzi wawe ari indahemuka, ntabwo mugera mu bihe bikomeye ngo akwihinduke atangire kukureba nabi cyangwa gushakisha uburyo akwihimuraho.

Young avuga ko mu bihe bikomeye umuntu ugukunda nyabyo akomeza kukubera imfura, akazirikana impamvu nyakuri yatumye mukundana ku buryo niyo ari wowe ntandaro y’ibibazo byanyu aguha umwanya wo kwisobanura no ku kwikosora abinyujije mu biganiro byuje amagambo y’urukundo n’ibikorwa bishimangira ko azaguhora hafi.

5. Ntatakaza icyizere cy’uko muzabinyuramo mwemye

Iyo muri mu bihe bitoroshye, hari igihe umwe mu bakundana atangira gutakaza icyizere ku buryo ashobora gufata umwanzuro wo gushyira iherezo ku mishinga y’igihe kirekire mwari mufitanye.

Umukunzi w’indahemuka we ibihe bikomeye abibona nk’ibibereyeho kubigisha no gutuma mushyira imbaraga mu byatuma urukundo rurushaho gushinga imizi, ibi bituma akenshi afata iya mbere mu guharanira ko amahoro agaruka.

6. Agaragaza ibyo atekereza mu buryo butagukomeretsa

Nk’abantu birashoboka ko ashobora kumva ibintu bimurenze, ku buryo akenera umwanya wo kumva ari wenyine mu gihe ashakisha umuti w’ibibazo mufite.

Umuntu ugukunda uzamubwirwa n’uko mu kukwereka ibitekerezo bye cyangwa kugusaba kuba umuhaye umwanya azabikorana ubushishozi ku buryo udashobora gukomereka.

Ikindi ngo ni uko nubwo aba agusabye uwo mwanya, akomeza gukurikirana no kumenya aho ibibazo byawe bigeze ndetse n’igihe yifuje kugaruka mu buzima bwawe agahitamo uburyo butuma wumva ufite agaciro kandi ushyigikiwe.

7. Iteka akwibutsa ko utari wenyine

Mu gihe uri guca mu bibazo byawe bwite bidafitanye isano n’urukundo rwanyu, hari igihe uwo mukundana ashobora kwigira ntibindeba ndetse rimwe na rimwe agafata umwanzuro w’uko mutandukana.

Ibi ariko si ko bigenda ku muntu ugukunda nyabyo, ahubwo we aharanira kukwereka ko utari wenyine urugamba urimo muzafatanya kururwana kugeza murutsinze.

Uretse kuba yabikubwira kandi ngo agerageza gukora ibikorwa bikwereka ko koko muri kumwe, ukunzwe kandi ushyigikiwe.

Kuba umuntu yakubera indahemuka ndetse akakwizera ariko ntibyizana ahubwo biraharanirwa, niyo mpamvu abakundana bagirwa inama yo guharanira kuba abanyakuri n’inyangamugayo buri umwe ku giti cye kuko aribyo bituma barushaho kwizerana no guharanira kudahemukirana.