Nizihe mpamvu zigutera kuba washaka undi mukunzi ukareka uwambere?(Soma inkuru)

Gukundwa no gukunda usanga bikenewe na abantu benshi ,hari bamwe usanga bazerereza inkundo aho usanga ahinduranya nkuhindura imyambaro, birababaza kandi birashoboka ko umuti waboneka

Ese biterwa n’iki kuba wumva buri gihe wakundana n’undi ukareka uwo wari ufite?

Kubikira birashoboka

Psychiatre J.-D. Nasi kubwe yemeza ko cyane ari uburyo bwo guhunga ukuri ku rukundo. Usanga akenshi kumera gutyo hari ubwo uba ubiterwa no guhunga ukuri ku buzima, harimo nko gukora, kuvunika, kugoka ngo ubeho n’ibindi…

Kuri iki kibazo, psychologue Jean-Jacques Moscovitz we avuka ko ushobora no kugiterwa no kuba utarabayeho neza ibyo bita complex d’oedipe. Aha usanga biterwa no kuba nk’umukobwa agenda ashakisha ise mu basore akundana nabo, aho yumva yifuza umusore umeze nka se bityo kuko ntawe ajya abona akajya ahora ahindagura ngo arebe wenda ko hari uwo yabona no kumusore nawe ahindagura ashaka uwo azabasha gukunda nka nyina kandi ibyo bidashoboka.

Kudafatisha mu buzima bishobora gutera kugubwaho n’iyi myitwarire

Jacques Cosnier, psychologue we avuga ko gukunda no gukundwa usanga bikenewe ahantu hose. Haba mu muryango, ku kazi, mur i societe n’ahandi hose umuntu akandagiza ikirenge. Birashoboka ko ku kazi aho wirirwa nta rukundo uhabona. Ibyo rero bizatuma urukundo n’abandi bari kuguha, rwose urwifuza mu mukunzi wawe, kandi icyo kintu atagishoboye.

Ese wakora iki mu gihe usanze nawe uhora wifuza guhindagura abakunzi?

Reba amateka yawe

Nk’uko twabivuze haruguru, guhora unanirwa gukundana n’umukunzi umwe bishoboka kuba biterwa n’uburyo wabayeho igihe cya complexe d’oedipe. Ibaze uti”Ese njyewe n’umubyeyi wanjye tudahuje igitsina, twabanye dute mu gihe cy’ubwana bwanjye? Ese yarankunze koko? Ese n’amukundaga nte? Ese nabashije kumusezerera mu mutima ngo urukundo rw’umuraza nitoze kuba naruha undi cyangwa niwe ngishakisha.

2. Itoze kubona ko uwo ukunda ari undi ko atari igikoresho cyo gukemura utubazo wifitemo: Uwo ukunda mwubahe kandi wumve ko niba waragwiririwe n’icyo kibazo cyo guhora wumva wahindura abakunzi, bitewe no kumva udakunzwe neza, reka kumva ko ari ikosa ry’uwo mukundana. Uwo mukundana hari ibyo ashoboye n’ibyo adashoboye bityo rero mwakire uko ari kandi witoze kunyurwa no kwakira urukundo rwe.

3. Hinga urukundo n’ahandi hatari ku mukunzi gusa, haba mu muryango, ku kazi, ku ishuri: Kuba aho wirirwa cyangwa umara umwanya mwinshi udakunzwe ushobora kuba ubifitemo uruhare. Niba udakunzwe rero aho hose, birashoboka ko urukundo bataguha wakwifuza ko umukunzi wawe azaruguha wenyine, ikizamini atabasha gutsinda.

Ese wakora iki ukundana n’umuntu umeze gutyo?

Gukundana n’umuntu nk’uwo birashoboka ndetse ukaba wanamufasha gukira akibagirwa ibyo gushakisha abandi bakunzi.

Birahagije kumukunda neza, nta buryarya kandi ugaharanira kudatuma urukundo rukonja. Aha harimo nko kumwitaho, kumukorera twa surprise, mbese buri gihe ukajya uhora umeze nk’uri kumutereta ibi bizatuma ageraho agatuza nawe mugatuza mugatunganirwa mu nzira y’urukundo


Yanditswe na Sarongo Richard/Muhabura.rw