Menya intandaro z’ubusambanyi hagati y’abagabo n’abakozi bo mu rugo

Hakunze kumvikana cyane abagabo baryamana n’abakozi babo bo murugo rimwe na rimwe bakabatera inda,kuburyo kuri ubu kimaze gufata intera mu bibazo bituma ingo nyinshi muri iki gihe zitagira umutekano kuburyo usanga abashakanye bashwana bya hato na hato bikagera n’aho ingo zisenyuka burundu.

Biragoye  ko uwo wabibaza  atahita yumva neza  ibyo umubajije  bitewe  n’uko  ataba  ashaka kukumenera ibanga,gusa bamwe  bavuga ko igatuma abagore bagirira abahungu  babakorera mu rugo urugwiro ari uko  abagabo nabo atari shyashya  aho batagikora inshingano zabo  mu rugo.

Aha hari ubuhamya butandukanye bwatanzwe n’impande zitungwa agatoki ndetse n’impuguki mu by’imibanire yo mungo.

Mukankiko  Devota(si izina rye) ni umukobwa umaze imyaka itanu akora akazi ko mu rugo mu Mujyi wa Kigali. Uyu avuga ko  ahantu hose yagakoze  mu ngo  ni abagabo babiri gusa bamusabye ko baryamana .

Aha  yagize ati “Mu ngo enye maze gukoramo, nahuye n’abagabo babiri bansaba ko twaryamana . Uwa mbere nabonaga abiterwa nuko nta kazi yagiraga tukirirwana mu rugo kandi umugore aza atinze ari njye ubazwa byose ariko sinamwemereye.”

Uwa kabiri we ngo yamusabye kumubwira impamvu imutera kumwifuza kandi afite umugore mwiza n’ubwo yazaga gake kuko yakoreraga kure, ngo amubwira ko nta mpamvu yo guhora urya indyo imwe kandi inzu yuzuye ibyo kurya, uyu ngo yaje no kugera ku mugambi we ariko abonye umugore we azabimenya amuha amafaranga aramwirukana.

Undi  mukobwa  Avuga ko yatewe inda na shebuja kuko nyirabuja yari yaragiye kwiga atahaba. Avuga ko yamaranye umwaka n’igice na shebuja nyuma shebuja aza kumubwira ko ubuzima butakomeza gutyo nyirabuja aje, ko azajya amufashiriza iwabo.

Ati “Mabuja yari yaragiye kwiga, bari bafite umwana umwe w’imyaka itatu, aramunsigira ambwira ko nta kibazo nzakomeza kubana neza na ‘boss’ kuko umwana wabo yarankundaga kandi babona nzi kumwitaho, ubwo nakomeje kubana na ‘boss’ mu nzu, hashize amezi atatu mabuja agiye nibwo yaje kunsaba ko turyamana. Nahise nemera kuko naramutinyaga kandi yambwiraga ko nta kibazo tuzajya dukoresha agakingirizo ariko byaje kurangira bibaye akamenyero tuba nk’umugore n’umugabo dore ko ari nanjye wamwitagaho muri byose.”

Akomeza agira “Hashize umwaka n’igice yaje kumbwira ko mabuja agiye kuza kandi tutakomeza kubana gutyo ahari, ansaba ko nsubira iwacu hanyuma akajya amfasha kurera umwana ndetse yanankenera akanyoherereza amafaranga tugahura. Yarabyubahirije kuko nyuma yajyaga ampamagara ndetse akananyoherereza amafaranga ariko rimwe narwaje umwana ndamuhamagara ngira ngo mumenyeshe ndamubura hashira nk’ukwezi. Naje kugaruka aho bari batuye bambwira ko bagiye hanze mubura gutyo, naje kubona ubuzima butazoroha umwana musigira iwacu ngaruka mu kazi ngo njye mubonera icyo yambara.”

Ubuhamya bwa Clarisse we butandukanye n’ubw’agenzi be

Clarisse  mu buhamya  bwe  yagize  ati “Ubu nacitse  ku gukorera  ingo zirimo  abagabo, natangiye  gukora akazi  ko  mu rugo mu mwaka  wa 2014, aho nabanje  mbere  yo  kujya  aho  nkora  ubu nabanaga n’umugabo  n’umugore  ariko  nkahora  mbona  batajya  bishimana. Ubwanjye  nari ntarabona  umugore na  rimwe  asekera  umugabo  we  cyangwa  ngo  umugabo  yereke  umugore  ko  amukunze,ni  njye  watekaga, nkamesera  umugabo, nkatera  ipasi, yewe  n’icyumba  umugore  yajyaga  kugenda  akansigira  urufunguzo  ngo  ngitunganye  kugera  ku  makariso  yabo  ni  njye  wayamesaga… Umwana  muto  wabo  yari  afite  imyaka ine ariko ntibajyaga  bisanzura  ku mubyeyi  n’umwe  kuko  wasangaga  banyishimiye  kurusha  nyina.

Rimwe umugore yari yatinze gutaha, umugabo yaje kunyegera  ambwira  ko  umugore  we  ngo nta kigenda ngo ntabwo amushimisha mu buriri, ngo ntamubona iyo amukeneye, ngo  amuhoza ku nkeke…ngo namumara ako gahinda kuko n’ubundi abona ari njye umumenya. Narabyanze  ndetse mbibwira mabuja, ariko icyambabaje ni uko ari njye wahindutse umunyamafuti maze  mabuja  ambwira

ko nshaka kumurarurira umugabo, yarankubise ndetse banyirukana batanampembye amezi atatu bari bandimo.”

Icyo abagabo bavuga kuri iki kibazo

Kamali Claude atuye mu Gatenga avuga ko ahanini usanga abakozi bo mu rugo barahindutse nk’abagore kuko baharirwa inshingano ubusanzwe zireba umugore mu rugo.

Uyu avuga ko iyo umukozi amaze kubona ari we wita ku rugo rero kandi abona mumeranye neza nawe arabyifuza akifuza gukundwakazwa nk’uko ubikorera umugore wawe.

Aha rero iyo hagize akantu gato kabaho k’agatotsi hagati yanyu bishobora kuba imbarutso umugabo akaba yakwigira ku mukozi kuko amuri hafi, nk’uko Kamari akomeza abivuga.

Kamali ati “Burya umugore wese iyo yifuje umugabo akora byose ngo amugereho kandi akenshi biramuhira. Umukozi ushaka shebuja biramworohera kuko aba ari (rivale de proximité) uwo muhanganye ukuri hafi, kuko aba areba uko nyirabuja yiyitaho, nawe mu bushobozi bwe aragerageza kandi aba azi uko umugabo babana ameze n’ibyo yishimira. Akenshi kuri iki gihe usanga hari n’abakozi baba baraje gukora mu ngo ariko bafite intego yo gutwara abagabo b’abandi.”

Yakomeje agira ati “Iyo urimo gukina n’ikipe uzi aho yoroshye kuyitsinda biroroha. Umukozi aba azi shebuja cyane azi na nyirabuja akamenya ibyo nyirabuja adakora ubundi we agashyira ingufu muri ibyo. Nyirabuja aba nyirabayazana noneho n’umukozi akabigiramo uruhare. Ikindi ni mu gihe aba ashaka kwihorera ku mugore wenda yamwimye kugira ngo amwumvishe.”

Muneza Marcel wo mu Gatenga nawe asanga ibi biterwa n’uko  akenshi umukoze ari uko ariwe ugaragara cyane mu mirimo yo murugo aho anakora no mucyumba nk’umugore we  ikindi kandi ngo abagabo bagira umutima woroshye.

 yagize ati” “Ni gute umukozi  azagukoropera  icyumba  uraramo, akagusasira, akamenyera umugabo amakariso, amasogisi…ngo wagiye kwiga, ngo wagiye muri bya bindi  byateye  ubu  ngo za ‘bridal shower’… wenda tureke imirimo yo kumesa guteka n’ibindi bisaba umwanya munini  kandi  nabyo mu gihe wabonye umwanya wabikora ariko niba umugabo  atashye  agasanga  umukozi  ahennye mu  mcyumba  akoropa, asasa uburiri azabona ko n’ibindi yabishobora nyine abimubaze kuko abagabo tugira umutima woroshye.”

Akomeza agira ati“Abagabo baryamana n’abakozi babo ahanini babiterwa n’uruhare rw’umugore iyo atamufata neza, ugasanga ahanini ariyo mpamvu abagabo bakunda indaya kuko nta soni zigira, burya biba byiza iyo umugore abaye indaya imbere y’umugabo we! Abagabo ni nk’abana bashimishwa n’utuntu duto, indaya

iba ikurusha iki se? Si akarimi keza gusa? Kera umugore yatekeraga umugabo, akamumenyera uruhisho ariko ab’ubu ntubibabaze.”

Gusa ariko nanone ngo ntihakirengagizwa uruhare rw’umugabo n’ubwo ngo atari runini kuko ngo uwaba asanzwe adafite ingeso ntago byamworohera gusuzuguza umugore yashatse amukunda imbere y’umukozi.

Aha ngo usanga hari abagabo bahora bumva bakeneye kumenya abagore batandukanye bigatuma bahitamo abakozi kuko boroshye kubageraho kandi kenshi baba banabatinya.

Twahirwa Maurice yagize ati “Abana b’abakozi bamwe baba ari batoya mu myaka no mu gihagararo ku buryo itandukaniro naryo ryagira uruhare mu bijyanye n’amabanga yo mu myanya ndangagitsina (umugore w’abana 16 igitsina cye nkeka ko gitandukanye n’icy’uw’abana 5) hari n’abagabo rero bahorana amatsiko yo kumva uko ahandi bimeze noneho ugasanga ku mukozi kumugeraho byoroshye cyane kandi bitamusaba byinshi kumubona.”

Icyo abagore babivugaho

Ibi kandi bishimangirwa na bamwe mu bagore twaganiriye bavuga ko bamwe muri bagenzi babo batakimenya inshingano zabo, gusa na none ngo ntabwo icya mbere ari ukujya guta ishema imbere y’umukozi.

Clemence ni umukozi w’Ikigo cyigenga, yagize ati “Abadamu muri iyi minsi twaretse inshingano zacu, uti gute? Inkweto zimenywa n’umukozi, amasogisi, ipasi…ugasanga arategurira umugabo buri kimwe cyose ugasanga umukozi arabikora yiryamiye. Umugabo umwitayeho nawe amwitaho, niba umukozi ari we utegura icyayi n’ibindi azamugirira urukundo abone wa mugore ntacyo amaze.”

Nirere we yagize ati “Iri terambere riradukoraho, gusa na none umugabo ujya kuryamana n’umukozi sinumva ko akwiye kwitwa umugabo! Ariko na none natwe abagore dusigaye twarateshutse ku byo dushinzwe kuko umugabo agushaka n’ubusanzwe uwo mukozi yari amufite, ugomba gukora byose nk’umufasha! Ariko numva mu gihe bitabaye ugomba kwegera umugore wawe ukamukebura byanze kandi urukundo rurihangana!”

Clementine ni umubyeyi ufite abana babiri, nawe avuga ko uretse kuba ari ingeso ubundi abagore usanga bitwaza umunaniro n’akazi kenshi ntibakorere ingo zabo.

“Biragoye ariko wabikora, ariko usanga umuntu agera mu rugo akiyicarira hariya ibintu byose bigakorwa n’umukozi, umunaniro ukuye mu kazi cyangwa izindi mvune ntabwo zikuraho ko ugomba gukora ibyo usabwa nk’umugore imbere y’umugabo wawe.”

Icyo impuguke mu mibanire abivugaho

Ikinyamakuru  MUHABURA.RW cyashatse kumenya byimbitse icyo abazi iby’imibanire y’abantu babivugaho, twegereye impuguke mu mibanire y’abashakanye Nteziryayo  adutangariza ko mu miterere y’umugabo akururwa n’ibyo abona, bivuze ko niba ntacyo umugore akora ngo amukurure azajya aho bamukorera ibikorwa byo kumuryoshya nko kumubwira utugambo twiza, kumwemerera kubakoraho icyo ashatse cyose.

Avuga ko imiterere y’umugore nayo ituma umugabo ashobora kumusimbuza umukozi, aho ngo umugore uri mu mihango kenshi usanga afite umushiha ndetse ntanashake guhuza ibitsina.

Yongera ho ko iyo bigeze aho umugabo aryamana n’umukozi biba atari we wenyine ahubwo ari ingeso aba yaramaze kwimika ariko ku mukozi bikoroha kuko aba amuri hafi, umukozi amutinya ariko bigera aho akabibonamo ishema.

Ikindi ngo hari abagore usanga bateye kigabo ugasanga imyitwarire yabo idaha urubuga abagabo ngo babisanzureho uko bashaka kandi ngo abagabo mu miterere yabo bakunda gufatwa nk’abana bivuze ko bumva bahabwa icyo bifuza ariko nawe akamenya icyo bashaka.

Gusa ariko ngo hari impamvu nyamukuru abona iri inyuma y’ibi ukuyeho kuba umuntu yaba afite ingeso y’ubusambanyi, gusa akavuga ko impamvu zose nta cyatuma uca inyuma uwo mwashakanye mu gihe muticaye ngo mukemure ikibazo

Yagize ati “Ingo nyinshi z’iki gihe ntizigira umwanya wo kuganira ngo bishimire ibyiza bageraho habeho no kugaya ibitagenda, ugasanga ikosa rikosozwa irindi. Abashakanye bakeneye ibiganiro nyubakarugo kuko ni wo mwanya mwiza wabafasha gukemura ibitagenda kandi bigakemurwa mu buryo bububaka bombi butegura neza ahazaza habo. Niba umugore wawe ubona hari aho bitagenda bimubwire mushake umuti mwembi.

Chief Editor/MUHABURA.RW