Bimwe mu bintu by’ingenzi abakobwa bakwiye gutekerezaho mbere yo kurushinga

Umunyabwenge mu bumenyi muntu abo bita aba “psychologues” yaravuze ati “ugushyingirwa ni igikorwa cy’abantu bakuru ntabwo ari icy’ abana”. Kugira ngo ugushyingirwa kwanyu kube kwiza kandi kurambe , mukwiye kuba mukuze bihagije kandi buri wese mu bashakanye akwiye:

1. Kumenya inshingano ze

2. Kwihanganira uwo bashakanye

3. Kwitegura kuzita ku buzima bw’ uwo bashakanye bwose nubw’ abana bazabyarana.

4. Kuba witeguye kwiha uwo mugiye kubana no komatana nawe.

Nk’ umukobwa reka turebere hamwe ibintu by’ ingenzi akwiye gutekerezaho mbere yo kurushinga.

Icya mbere akwiye kwikuramo ubute n’ ubunebwe. Ubundi umukobwa ugiye gushyingirwa aba akwiye gukura mu bitekerezo , akikuramo ikintu cyose cyajyaga kimutera ubute cyangwa ubunebwe, agaca bugufi agakorera urugo rwe, dore ko nta wundi muntu aba afite agojmba gusiganya, akumva ko urugo rwe ariwe gusa rureba.

Hari abagore usanga bagira ubunebwe cyane, bakumva akazi kose bazajya bagakorerwa n’ abakozi bo mu rugo , bakabamesera byose ndetse n’ imyamabaro y’ imbere, bakabasasira n’ ibindi .

Ibi ni bibi cyane kuko ku iherezo usanga ingo zabo zirangwamo amakimbirane adashira ndetse bakaba banasenya batamaze igihe.Icya kabiri akwiye kumva yishimiye kwitwa umugore. Ibi nabyo ni ngombwa cyane niba ugiye gushaka ukuze kandi wabitekerejeho neza. Ugomba kwishimira kwitwa umugore cyangwa umufasha. Ibi hari abatabikunda pe, bakumva ko umugore nta gaciro aba afite, bamwita umugore akarakara ngo baramusuzuguye, ndetse bamwe bakumva baba nk’ abagabo kandi bidashoboka. Bene abo baba bashyingiwe batiteguye neza n’ ingo zabo ntiziramba.

Umukobwa kandi akwiye kujya gushaka azi neza ibyiza byo gushaka umugabo, azi neza inyungu zirimo, bityo abakigirira amatsiko menshi, akabyishimira , akabikunda, akagenda yumva koagiye mu munezero w’ urugo, atagiye mu bibazo gusa,

Ikindi kandi akwiye kumenya neza uwo bagiye kubana, akamenya imico ye yose, imyitwarire ye, kandi akumva ko atagiye guhangana nawe ahubwo bagiye kuzuzanya.

Hari abakobwa bajya gushaka bumva ko umugabo namukorera ikosa nawe azamukorera irindi, yamuca inyuma nawe akamuca inyuma , yamubwira nabi nawe akamubwira nabi, ariko ibyo ntibyubaka ahubwo birasenya .

Ikindi tutakwibagirwa , nuko umukobwa akwiye guterwa ishema no kwitwa umubyeyi , ari nayo mpamvu akwiye kugenda yiteguye ko azaba umubyeyi mu gihe Imana izaba ibahaye kororoka, akazonsa umwana we, akamuheka, akamukunda, kuko ibyo nabyo bifasha umugore gukunda urugo rwe cyane no kurwihanganiramo.

Hari abagore banga konsa abana babo ngo amabere yabo atagwa , ariko niba wemeye gushaka, ukabyara, uba ugomba no kwishimira konsa umwana wawe kuko nibwo uzamuremamo ubumuntu n’ urukundo rwa kibyeyi.

Ku bw’ ibyo rero, mbere yo kubaka urugo rwe agomba kumenya ibi byose.

Akwiye kumenya ko kubaka urugo atari ugukina birenze cyane kwinezeza gusa, kubaka urugo birenze cyane gupfumbatana no gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, birenze no kubyara abana, birenze gufashanya mu by’ imibereho ya buri munsi n’ ibindi.

Ibi byose iyo amaze kubimenya neza, akitegura gushyingirwa, iyo ashyingiwe agahura n’ ibibazo binyuranye , aba afite ubushobozi bwo kubyihanganira byose, aba afite ubushobozi bwo gufasha umugabo we kubaka urugo rwabo no kuruteza imbere, kandi ugushyingirwa kwabo kuraramba .

Ni byiza rero gushyingirwa wabyiteguye neza wabitekerejeho igihe gihagije kuko bizagufasha cyane kubaka urugo rwiza rurangwa n’amahoro n’ urukundo rwinshi.

Yanditswe n’Umukunzi wa Muhabura.rw